Texts from last night
by AcromantulaBitch
Summary: Or the five messages Jim sent Bones and the one Bones sent him. Non-explicit K/B.


**So yeah, I did this for this prompt of the kinkmeme, 'I'd like to see a Kirk/McCoy that involves all the dirty, hilarious and down right bizarre messages Bones gets from Kirk on his padd. And you can really make it out there if you want, but I just want to see some ****texts from last night** () inspired moments.'

**So that's what I did. It was fun (: I used actual TFLNs**

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Five texts Kirk sent Bones.

1. "BOOOOONNEESSSSSSS!!!!!!"

He stares down at his PADD in aggravation. What the hell is wrong with people? Why would you program something to not allow messages to be deleted unless they've been opened? He had two hundred new messages this morning. They were all from Jim. And so far they've all said the same thing.

2. "get home. Someone threw up in the fish tank last night."

When he gets this message, his first thought is, 'I'm going to kill him.' Because evidently, Jim threw party in their shared dorm room. Again. Even though he specifically told him not to this time and Jim promised. And then he had the nerve to send him this god damn message.  
But then he notices that Jim had referred to the dorm as 'home'. For some reason, this makes him get on a transport back to San Francisco.  
On the way to the station, something occurs to him. They don't have a fish tank.

3. "girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends"

This one actually makes him crack up a bit. He texts back, "I hope you die from some horrible STD, it would serve you right."  
He stares at his PADD for a good five minutes, waiting for a reply and smiling like a fool. But then he catches himself and gets back to work.

4. "Guess where I woke up this morning? If you guessed hospital, you sir are correct"

This one induces momentary panic. He almost runs to the nearest transport station. Almost goes to Iowa. It's a near thing.  
He scowls down at his breakfast. He's starting to get concerned for himself. This is going to end badly. It's not like it could ever work anyway.  
He brutally stabs an egg and shoots a glare at his PADD.

5. "I'll name the documentary; The Adventures of Jim's Penis"

Yeah. This is why it wouldn't work.

And the one Bones sent him.

His head hurts. That's the first thing that registers. It feels like someone hit him in the head with a brick. Multiple times.

The second thing that registers is that not only is he naked, he is naked in bed with Jim. Who is also naked and is asleep. Oh God. He knows he can't deal with this now.

He silently gets out of the bed, which by the way is not either of their beds and he has no idea where he is, Jim does not wake up. He locates and puts on his pants, looking around the unfamiliar room. His shirt is no where to be found, but he can see his PADD under the bed. He grabs it and sits down on the end of the bed to check it for 'What the hell?' messages that might tell him something about what happened last night. There's a message already open.

It says; "I'm in love with you."

It's from him. This is Jim's PADD. He is going to be sick. And from the taste in his mouth it won't be for the first time in the past couple of hours.

The bed moves, he turns around and sees Jim sitting up. He doesn't move, just sits there like an idiot holding Jim's PADD and wearing nothing but jeans. Which he somehow managed to put on inside out. Jim sort of crawls to the end of the bed where he's sitting and kisses him, long and deep. He doesn't appear to be at all hungover. He doesn't even smell like booze.  
Jim eventually pulls away and grins at him. "So." He takes the pad out of his hands and starts typing something. "I got your message." Leo sees him push send. And then hears his PADD go off. It seems to be coming from the bathroom.

He shoots Jim a disapproving look, but gets up to go humor him. Sure enough, his PADD is the bathroom. It's on top of his missing shirt. At least it's not in the toilet. He picks it up and turns it on. Shockingly, he has a new massage from Jim. He's pretty sure he already knows what it's going to say, but he opens it anyway.

It says; "Love you too"

* * *

**Sorry for the formatting fail. It's 2am and I still have homework. I'll fix it later. **


End file.
